Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 94 of Life On the Brink!
Even as we cultivate our beautiful daily lives, every now and then life calls for a bit of elevation and celebration. Today we’re talking about one such celebration: Date Night.
In theory, a date night is a wonderful chance to spend time with your significant other, in which you learn more about each other and appreciate your love and relationship that much more. Sometimes, though, it’s easy to fall into the same evening of dinner or a movie (both of which I love very much, by the way) and suddenly an experience that was designed to elevate you outside your normal routine becomes a routine in itself. How do we create a fun and satisfying night with your sweetheart, even after many years together?
Perhaps the first answer is money, since extravagance is often a rarity. However, expense is by no means the greatest determining factor, and today I’m sharing lots of Date Night ideas that, despite their modest budget, can make for an exciting and fun evening.
What’s in my teacup? A homemade vanilla cold brew latte.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I so enjoy getting all dressed up for a fancy dinner somewhere special, I just tend to save such occasions for anniversaries or Valentine’s Day and the like. It’s just not feasible (or fiscally responsible at any rate) to make that sort of evening a regular thing.
What then? How can we enjoy time with our partners in a new and fun way, without spending a bunch of money?
First, let’s examine what makes a “good” Date Night.
In 2021 a paper titled “Planning date nights that promote closeness: The roles of relationship goals and self-expansion” by Cheryl Harasymchuk, Deanna L. Walker, Amy Muise, and Emily A. Impett was published in 2021 by the National Library of Medicine. I found the research fascinating, because it not only shows the importance of date nights within a relationship, but also pointed out some key elements that strengthen the relationship.
“Despite the seemingly inconsequential nature of shared leisure activities and viewing them as a “bonus activity”, growing evidence suggests that shared recreation is important for promoting closeness in established relationships…”
“...one way to enhance and sustain closeness in established relationships is to engage in exciting, shared leisure activities that promote a broadening of the mind and a new perspective of the self.”
Basically the idea is that creating environments where you learn more about your partner in turn expands your own self-perception, and this bond can help sustain closeness within the relationship. In this paper it was also found that dates that excite the mind, “...in a variety of ways [like] novelty, arousal, challenge, as well as by features such as interest, spontaneity, playfulness, and adventure,” were related to higher relationship quality.
With all this in mind, I’ve gathered date ideas from my own experience as well as from some of my friends in long-term relationships. Hopefully these will provide inspiration, or maybe give you new ideas altogether. The idea is to have fun and learn something new about your partner.
Here we go!
DATE NIGHT IDEAS (on a budget)
Cook together! An intentional night in.
1. Choose a recipe in advance in order to have time to shop for ingredients.
2. Pour a glass of wine or something fancy. Put on some background music.
3. Cook and eat together. Take your time with both!
Also, I recommend setting the table with a few candles.
*As far as what to make, I think risotto (simple but slow), pasta (easily feels fancy), or tacos (lots of side components) could work well. Also, baking together is perhaps even more magical.*
Visit museums/local exhibits. There’s always something new to see.
1. Check your area or local colleges for various art exhibits. Maybe even a concert!
2. Talk about your thoughts or interpretations of the pieces and, most importantly, ask your partner questions on their thoughts. Did they have a favorite piece? Did that exhibit remind them of anything? (and always, of course:) Why?
Conversation starters.
- This could be as simple as using actual “conversation starters” cards or online forums (I’ve done this on long road trips and the conversation really does make the time fly).
- Dress up together. Perhaps more of a niche activity, but planning what to wear for a simple night out while trying to complement each other can be fun.
- Try a flight. Lots of wineries, breweries, or even coffee shops will offer a flight, and it’s a great way to get talking. It also forces you both to slow down and savor something small, which makes it so much easier to appreciate the moment together. Of course, you could also DIY a flight in a more “conducting an experiment” way at home (could be an excuse to bring home 7 different types of cheese, just saying).
Use your local resources.
- Check your local library. Not only do many libraries have interesting free events, but many have games and other things to check out. You never know!
- On that note, puzzles and puzzle games are a great way to overcome a challenge while working and communicating together. Personally, a rainy evening in with tea (or pizza) and a big puzzle sounds amazing.
- If you've never done an escape room with your partner, I highly recommend. Since this is a budget episode, though, check your local places for promotions or coupons, then seize the opportunity!
- In general, I think Facebook events are a great way to see what's going on in your area. There's always so much more happening than I realize, and it helps when you want to do something a little different.
Get outside. Oftentimes free, always different!
-Botanical gardens often have a fee (could be worth it), but you can also explore local gardens and parks, which will change with the seasons.
-Beach days are relaxing and lovely.
-You could scout out a few hiking trails and pack a picnic lunch!
-I'd like to highlight two helpful apps: Alltrails, which helps you find and track your progress on so many trails around the world, and Geocaching, a GPS-led scavenger hunt in your local area.
-Generally, nature and exercise are good for the body and mind, so spending that time with your partner will feel great.
“Although planning might seem like the antithesis of excitement, pre-arranging these activities might actually ensure they happen and facilitate feelings of excitement. For instance, planning and initiating a day trip to visit a new town with a partner might create an environment for non-routine, spontaneous, and exciting moments to naturally emerge.”
As a parting thought, may I just encourage you to make time for Date Night more often, if you can. Having a standing appointment takes a lot of pressure off of the night. Nothing has to be "perfect," it's all about the fact that you made time to intentionally learn more about your partner.
More Inspiration:
This Week’s Little Joy: I work for a company called Wishery Entertainment and was at a birthday party as Princess Belle last weekend. It was a lovely party and all went well, but as my fellow princesses and I were leaving the party mom encouraged the birthday girl and her friends to hand us these HUGE bouquets of roses. It was amazing! In my 9 years of performing with this job, I've never been tipped in flowers. Now they're in a vase on my dining table :)
What I’m Listening To: "Ground Up" by Snarky Puppy, one of my favorite artists of all time. This album is by no means new, but I'm revisiting in with Josh, as he's never heard it before. It's fascinating because it's bringing back all these memories and emotions from 2014-15, when I listened to this album all the time, and it's nice to share all of it with him. All that aside, the record is HIP. Please listen.
Thank you so much for listening!
Remember that you can sign up for the free monthly newsletter at the bottom of this page, and feel free to share your Date Night ideas in the comment section below.
I'll be back in two weeks with a new episode!