Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 58 of Life On the Brink
I know last week we talked about books, but this week is about one very special book in particular, one that has rocked my world.
The book is “The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact” by Chip Heath and Dan Heath, which I read as a recommendation from Elsie and Emma on their “A Beautiful Mess” podcast. Truly, I am just so glad I actually read this book; it was such a fascinating and totally inspiring look into how to make moments special and how to elevate the everyday, something I hope to do with each episode of Life On the Brink! Today I’m sharing some of my favorite takeaways, along with memories of my own, that hopefully will inspire you to (not only read this amazing book, but also) think about highs and lows, celebrations, milestones, and transitions in a new light. There are so many opportunities to make impactful moments, so how do we do it?
What’s in my teacup? An iced matcha latte.
“The Power of Moments” is split up into 4 main categories, each focusing on a different aspect of what can make a moment impactful: elevation, insight, pride, and connection. You’ll see these 4 main points show up in my own takeaways, but I highly encourage you to read this book to see all the goodness for yourself.
Before we get into my list, though, I’d like to set it up with some thoughts on memory.
When I think about memories, especially good ones, sometimes it seems like a string of random coincidences that made it so special, but is that really the case? What if we could create special, out of the ordinary moments for ourselves, as well as for our families, employees, or students?
Often, when we think about the most impactful memories of our lives, they are from times of transition and new experiences: starting or graduating school, getting married, having children, leaving home, your first job, etc. Notice that most of those moments happen fairly early on in a person’s life, roughly from ages of 15 to 30, known to psychologists as the “reminiscence bump.” But what does that mean for the other thousands of moments in our lives?
I feel like this quote from the book really speaks to this question well:
“This is the intuitive explanation for the common perception that time
seems to accelerate as we get older. Our lives become more routine
and less novel….
Now, that’s a somewhat depressing realization. Have we really left our most
memorable days behind us?
Yes, probably. And that’s also probably a good thing. Because it would be
very easy to create a second reminiscence bump late in life. Just divorce your
spouse, quit your job, move to New Zealand, and become a shepherd.
Plenty of novelty there, and you’re certain to write a rush of memories.
But let’s not confuse memorability with wisdom….’Variety is the spice of life,’
but notice that it does not say, ‘Variety is the entree of life’...
A little novelty can go along way….
By breaking the script, we can lay down a richer set of memories.”
That being said, here’s a few ideas to help you think about and create some memories:
1. Embrace the Unexpected. Here at Life On the Brink I often place a focus on embracing the everyday, but to make an impact, sometimes it takes a bit of unpredictability. “Breaking the Script” is a common theme in this book, and it has me wondering how a bit of surprise and delight can change an occasion, a first day of school, or a normal day. I love this quote:
“Beware the soul sucking force of reasonableness.”
Generally, I am someone who loves a practical, efficient solution, but is that always the best, or the most memorable?
“In life, we can work so hard to get the kinks out that we forget to put the peaks in.”
I think this also invites a bit more fun into our day-to-day. How can you surprise someone today?
2. Think Above and Beyond. Consider this quote: “Mostly forgettable is actually a desirable state in many businesses,” meaning nothing went wrong. “Studies have consistently shown that reliability, dependability, and competence meet customer expectations….To exceed customer expectations and create a memorable experience, you need the behavioral and interpersonal parts of the service. You need the element of pleasant surprise.”
I realized in reading this that that’s how I have looked at some of my performances. I’ve spent many nights playing, essentially, a soundtrack to someone’s evening and, perhaps because of a lack of encouragement or a skewed expectation, I came into the professional music field thinking that an uneventful night was a good thing. If my music was good enough to be unnoticed, I’m doing it right. Now instead I’m brainstorming for ways to make the night that much more special for someone listening.
3. Failing Is Ok. “To stretch is to place ourselves in situations that expose us to the risk of failure.” A large portion of this book is dedicated to the idea of Insight, a moment of realization or a gathering of knowledge. I like that the idea of “failing” as we typically think of it is not seen in a negative way. It shows that we’re growing, that we tried something new!
Consider this quote: “The promise of stretching is not success, it’s learning,” and ultimately the knowledge we learn is valuable, it’s additive. One of my favorite stories from this portion was of Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx. You can watch a bit of her video here to see how her father reframed the idea of failure for her as a child.
4. Recognize Others. “If you knew you could make a positive difference in someone’s life-that you could create a memory for them that would last..and it would take only a trivial amount of time on your part, would you do it?”
As a teacher, I do my best to catch moments of improvement to affirm my students in it, or to encourage one who may be frustrated, but as I go into this next school year I want to pay more attention to not only students, but other teachers and staff, to see how I might recognize their accomplishments. It’s not about lowering standards (in fact, knowing that someone expects much of you will make you try harder!), but about celebrating when they are met. This plays into the idea of Pride (in a good way), and how being recognized for something you’re proud of can multiply it so many times over.
I feel that this quote sums up the concept of mentorship: “I have high expectations for you and I know you can meet them. So try this new challenge and if you fail, I’ll help you recover.”
5. Celebrate Small Accomplishments. This kind of plays off the previous point, but includes yourself as well. “We are consistently missing opportunities to create moments of pride for ourselves and others.” The main reason for this is that our goals are too undefined or too big.
If you have a goal to speak another language, when are you allowed to celebrate? When you’re fluent?
Consider this itinerary set up in the book, inspired by Steve Kamb’s book “Level Up Your Life”:
Level 1: Order a meal in Spanish.
Level 2: Have a simple conversation in Spanish with a taxi driver.
Level 3: Glance at a Spanish newspaper and understand at least one headline
Level 4: Follow the action in a Spanish cartoon
Level 5: Read a kindergarten-level book in Spanish
…and so on.
Look at all those peaks! “We’re anticipating moments of pride ahead. But the opposite is also possible: to surface those milestones you’ve already met but might not have noticed.”
Runners will give that little extra push to reach a close goal. What if we made goals for ourselves and others?
Basically any reason to celebrate.
And finally, a parting thought:
“Many of the moments in this book, though, are free and unproduced – the kinds of moments that arise every day. you compliment a colleague on the way she handled a client emergency. You ask your children at the dinner table, “what have you failed at this week?“ You and a colleague decide to meet after work for a cupcake.”
The most precious moments are often the ones that cost the least.”
I am truly inspired by this book. I’ve been enjoying thinking about how I might change my teaching style going forward, and Josh and I have incorporated some of these ideas into our Summer Bucket List (get more ideas here). If you get the chance, I really recommend reading or listening to this book, and that, even from this episode, you’re able to see more and more opportunities to make your days sparkle a bit more.
This Week’s Little Joy: I mentioned a few episodes ago
That some of the women in my family have been getting together weekly to knit (or crochet or whatever), and now that my teaching schedule has loosened up, I’ve been able to go! On Thursday mornings we’ve been getting together at one person’s house (I’m trying to get in the hosting rotation so I can make TEA) for snacks and conversation and various yarn arts. It’s honestly so so nice and I find myself looking forward to it way more than I expected. Plus, it motivates me to finish some of my longer crocheting projects!
What I’m Listening To: My favorite Beatles album, “Revolver.” I woke up with one of the songs in my head earlier this week and I just went ahead and listened to the full album again. Amazing. I love this album. I think you should start with “Tax Man” and let it go on it’s own. And ABSOLUTELY listen in stereo (the panning is next level).
Thank you so much for listening! A quick announcement:
There won't be a new episode next week due to July 4th (and all of the family time/celebration/Josh off of work that comes with that).
I'll be back in two weeks with a new episode, then continue on our weekly summer schedule.
Have a wonderful week,friends!