Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 66 of Life On the Brink!
For many of you, happy first week of school as well. This is certainly a time of transition, and after a few years of adapting and overcoming a pandemic, this truly feels like the first normal school year we’ve had in a while.
Of course, we each have different challenges from year to year and, even in a post-pandemic world, these transitional times can be difficult or challenging in their own way.
Today I simply hope to encourage you, my friend, along with myself, to take these next few weeks one day at a time, not putting too much pressure on ourselves. Take it easy for a moment and find a little stillness.
What’s in my teacup? A glass of fresh homemade lemonade.
Finding a new rhythm is no easy thing, and lately I’ve been feeling very “in between“ things. My life is shifting in more ways than one, and that strange feeling or suspension, of waiting to find a new rhythm, sometimes makes me feel uneasy.
What if we could each make a rhythm, a day-to-day way of being intentional and grateful, even in that “in between”?
Essentially, that is the very crux of this podcast, and I never feel it more than when I’m sort of “up in the air.”
I am someone who is certainly prone to burnout, though I feel like that’s a very easy thing to slip into these days. Despite so many “wellness“ resources and influencers, it’s very easy to absorb the notion that action, work, forward motion, and growth are the tenets of a healthy and successful life.
Even when it’s not working for money, there is still the checklist of beautifying, enriching, life-giving activities that were meant to engage in. Does anyone else ever feel pressured to take care of, or even pamper, themselves?
Creating a routine, a way of living, it’s not an aesthetic. Rather, it is simply the patterns we observe over time that work for us.
For example, I’ve spoken on this podcast before about screen time: how it can be harmful and waste time and be the source of sleeping problems and stuff. What good does that do, though, if it only makes us feel guilty whenever we’re on our phone? Instead, why not treat them as possible solutions if you encounter a problem?
Solutions to problems often become warnings, and sometimes those warnings become preemptive regulations, whether or not they’re necessary.
If you somehow are able to scroll on social media for hours every day and it doesn’t make you feel icky, I would not want to prescribe to you a solution to a nonexistent problem.
Personally, though, and I’d argue for some others, I don’t like the way I feel after a day that has included so much time online. I know that moving my body and letting my mind rest make me feel good, so I try to incorporate those things into my day.
As you move into this new season of life, or at least of the year, why not actually listen to what your heart, mind, and body need? A 5 AM Morning Routine might be chic and aesthetically desirable, but is that going to help you?
There’s an interesting dichotomy in the internet these days, in which Self Care is both romanticized and regimented. You “must” value green smoothies, pizza, meeting with friends, a night in with Netflix, going to the gym, sleeping in late and getting up early with equal fervor. Perhaps, though, that is simply my perception, since there is so much information from so many different sources and angles to be taken in. Sometimes I think it even feels like the act of trying to “optimize“ our enjoyment in life is a measurable activity in itself.
Now, before your brain gets too squishy, I just want to invite you to breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out.
None of that regulation is necessary. Again, what if we simply decided to listen to what we need? Certainly this is not the most direct route, since it involves some trial and error to know what works for you and what doesn’t, but, especially at the beginning of a new year or season, it’s never a better time to start listening.
-If you find yourself overwhelmed with commitments (or you know it’s easy for you to over commit), practice saying “no.”
-If you find yourself procrastinating, stop and listen to what you need, and maybe discover why you’re putting off that thing.
-If there’s so much on your plate that you feel almost frozen, unable to work on anything, know that there will be more time tomorrow, and sometimes intentionally filling your personal cup is the best way to be able to return to work.
-If you are constantly preoccupied, even looking for distractions, maybe it’s time to sit with those feelings you’ve been avoiding.
Sometimes I don’t even know I’m stressed out about something until I’m quiet enough to feel it. Sometimes when I talk to Josh about a concern, it’s a much more emotional release than I expected. Those little check-ins now and then are essential.
Think of it like a multivitamin or something. We up our vitamins during cold season to try to maintain physical health, rather than falling ill. In the same way we can tend to our emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being on a day-to-day basis, rather than face so much burnout, breakdown, and overwhelm.
(Of course, when those things happen, be extra kind to yourself.)
There is no deadline for your life, no grade or end goal. This is the time of year when we become very occupied with outside information and planning, so it’s a great time to be intentional with rest, with listening, with simply being kind to yourself.
That, I feel, is the most valuable advice I can give to myself and to you right now. I hope that you are encouraged and feel a bit lighter. You’re so lovely, my friend, and I wish you a beautiful start to the new season.
This Week’s Little Joy: Last Saturday I had a gig in Virginia Beach, which is where my in-laws live. Josh had been spending the day with his mom, so when I finished work I just popped over and joined them. It was just the three of us and we hadn’t eaten for several hours, so we had an early dinner at this amazing Korean BBQ place that I’d wanted to share with them (if you’re in the area, it’s Grammy BBQ and Karaoke). We split a couple entrees, barbecuing them at the table and everything, and it was so. delicious. And such a sweet and special little outing for the three of us.
What I’m Listening To: To me, the sound of autumn is most prominent in the voice of Nat King Cole, so I’ve been introducing a bit of his music into my days lately. This is a 3 disc, 71 song release, so certainly you don’t have to listen to it all at once! It’s The Nat King Cole Trio- The Complete Capitol Transcription Sessions, and it’s just everything lovely and chilled out that you could want.
Thank you so much for listening, friend! Be on the lookout next week for a brand new fall-centered episode!