Hi everyone, I’m making a little mini episode/PSA to give a little update and to speak a bit about some very important things. There’s not a real structure to this, I just wanted to let you know what’s going on.
I still recommend making a cup of tea, as I’ve realized in the last few weeks just how comforting one can be.
About two weeks ago I had to say goodbye to my grandma, Betty Jean Tejada. Fortunately, unlike many in this world, I actually got to say goodbye. It was a morning where I was very thankful for technology.
If you’ve listened to this podcast for any length of time you can probably tell that my family is very close. I’m so glad I live near so much of my family, and we see each other no less than once a week, oftentimes more. My grandma has been a constant presence in my life, and I’m still finding out how to be me on this earth without her. If you’ve ever lost a loved one I know you understand what I mean, but this is my first time working through grief on this level. I’ve never been more grateful for my family, my dear friends, and for a truly loving community.
My grandmother was a woman of fortitude, generosity, kindness and wisdom. She taught me to make toast when I was 3 years old and took me to my first piano lessons when I turned 10. She helped to make my wonderful family what it is, and I’m so grateful to have learned from her. One of the greatest joys I’ve had over the past few weeks is hearing from friends that they see some of her in me, that they can see more of how I am the woman I am. To be compared to her is a great hope. And, of course, I hold onto the greatest hope, knowing she is partying in heaven and I will see her again.
I guess my main goals in writing this is 1. Because my grandma loved this podcast and I just couldn’t carry on making it without acknowledging her, and 2. To simply encourage each one of you to reach out, hold on to, and cherish the family around you. Whether it’s your biological family or the family you’ve made in your life, these bonds are essential when the storms of life come. I have been fed, held, visited, prayed with, and listened to by the wonderful, incredible community around me, and I’m just so grateful for them.
Most likely you already know this, but these relationships are one of the most important things we carry on this earth. I’m realizing more and more how my family will change and must adapt as time goes on. I’m very nostalgic and love beautiful moments to stay exactly how they are (very Jo March, really), so this huge change to my family is not only hitting really hard, but is very eye opening. I have to remain open to more family, more people to love. I’m excited by the idea of having children and watching our family change again by a new generation. I’ll be able to tell them about their amazing great-grandma and encourage that little bit of Puerto Rican in them.
Lastly, I would simply say that I’m glad I took photos and videos at family gatherings. I usually don’t think about taking pictures these days because I want to be in the moment, but looking back at those moments this past week with my family has been so special. It doesn’t matter if my hair is out of place, it only matters that I hold onto the memory of that day and the people around me.
On that same note, I am so happy that I had my grandma as a guest on this podcast. I have a recording of her and my great aunt talking about Christmas traditions. What could be more special than that? I love that this creative project has also turned into a time capsule of me and my family, and I will cherish this conversation always.
This Week’s Little Joy: I’ve had a lot of these over these trying weeks, and the little moments of joy have become more and more essential. A few hours in the garden, a cup of tea made by a friend, hearing stories from my grandmother’s siblings who I haven’t seen in years, a really good batch of popcorn, watching my brother start classes at my alma mater, being held by my husband at the end of every day. These moments have sustained me and reminded me that joyful days are ahead.
Thank you for joining me for this special mini episode and for all of your love and support <3