Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 34 of Life On the Brink!
I can’t believe how this year has flown by; Josh and I are about to celebrate our first anniversary! I shared quite a bit in Episode 5 about my own wedding and the challenges that we faced, covid-related or otherwise, and it’s been a year!
So far in 2021 I’ve been to three weddings and I’m excited to be a bridesmaid for another coming up in October; it’s full on wedding season again. Whether you’re a couple that couldn’t celebrate with a big wedding due to covid, or maybe you’re recently engaged, this episode is all about the planning. But not just wedding planning…..this is on a budget. I firmly believe that it’s possible to have a beautiful, unique, fantastic day to celebrate your marriage without going into debt (people are literally taking out LOANS to pay for their wedding). Planning a big affair can already be stressful, and it’s even more so if you compile financial stress on top of it.
But I’m not alone in this either! Today I’m welcoming someone who not only plans really nice parties, but is as frugal as I am. Probably this is because she raised me, it’s my mom, Lisi Perkins!
Today we are sharing the things that we’ve learned through planning not only my wedding, but several others with much smaller budgets, so that hopefully anyone planning their special day can finish this episode full of resources and ideas and feeling hopeful and excited about this whole process.
I’ve written out all the main points that my mom and I discussed throughout this episode, but I highly recommend giving it a listen to get all the details and examples. Plus my mom is a hoot.
What’s In our teacups? We were actually both drinking a lovely rose kombucha from a local seller. So refreshing and delicious.
TIPS FOR PLANNING A WEDDING ON A BUDGET
My Wedding Tips:
1. Have a budget ahead of time. In order to make smart financial decisions, you need to know what you’re working with. We recommend talking with your partner and ideally with both sides of the family to work out all monetary contributions beforehand.
2. Find out who do you know. Even though I did a lot of research all over WeddingWire, I still ended up going with several people I knew either by word of mouth or because I knew them personally (Our videography was by LNR productions, plus our cake, flowers, and music recording were all done by family friends).
3. Know your priority and spend money on that, then find ways to cut elsewhere. For me, it was a lovely outdoor ceremony space, and by far the largest portion of the budget went to the venue. Whatever it is for you, go ahead and spend the money on your priorities, then just look for ways to bend the budget on things that aren't as important to you.
(an example: For my sister Sarah, she didn't want any wrinkles in any fabric anywhere, it drives her nuts. Money went to wrinkle-free fabrics and a few steamers, and the reception space was completely transformed. Totally them and they loved it.)
4. Understand that a DJ does more than play music. If this is where you're thinking you can easily slash your reception budget, just know that someone needs to play this role. Rather than assign someone to an ipod in the corner, you really need to find someone to read the room and guide the flow of the reception. Of course, if your reception is quite small, perhaps just a lovely dinner, this is totally more doable.
5. Consider having your wedding on a weekday or during off-season. So many venues will have reduced rates between December-March, so if that's conducive to your engagement, look into that! Likewise, a wedding on a day other than Friday or Saturday is going to get you a better deal. I've been to lovely Sunday weddings (oooh brunch?) that still ensure most people are off work.
6. Don’t be afraid to veer off-course. It is your day, after all, and if there's a traditional wedding element that you're really not crazy about, spending money on it might not be the best call for you and your partner. Don't be afraid to get creative and make your day your own!
Mom's wedding tips:
1. Money invested in memory-making is money well spent. After all the time and the planning and the waiting, your wedding is only a matter of hours. But you're going to want to relive this day over and over, so we suggest investing in professional photographers and videographers. These are the things that will last forever.
2. You can absolutely save money on your wedding dress. We've seen many many episodes of Say Yes and, let me tell you, there is no reason to pay that much money! It is so so easy to save on bridal dresses and accessories. I got my dress at a local boutique-style shop (Here and Now Bridal) that carried runway samples for a fraction of the original sale, and it's totally possible to find such places or expos or sales in your area, just take a search online. Or you can head to these websites to check out pre-owned dresses:
-Azazie: My mom used the "custom" option for her dress at my wedding and had a great experience (with no alterations). So even if you just choose to go this route for bridesmaid dresses, I've heard lots of good things.
***BUT! Know that most likely you'll need alterations, so factor that into your budget. If you're buying from a shop, we recommend speaking with the alterations manager before you purchase just so you know what you're getting into.***
So with that in mind, please don't put on a dress that is completely beautiful but totally out of your budget. You'll love it and that'll be that.
3. You can probably do without a wedding coordinator...but a day-of coordinator is a must. If a wedding coordinator isn't within your budget (no one in my family has used one), we say you can skip it. However, you definitely want someone to help oversee the wedding day. Whether this is a coordinator that is just hired for day-of coordinating, or it's someone through your venue, or even a family friend that is dedicated to the task, this is the go-to point person on your wedding day so that the couple and their families can relax.
4. Wedding Day tip: give your phone to someone and ask them to take pictures. It's a great idea to stay away from your phone on the wedding day, but waiting for the photographer to relive those little moments is tough. We recommend asking someone attending to just snap a few photos of the night so you can remain totally present but have some lovely moments to look back on and share during the days that follow.
5. You can find anything on Facebook Marketplace. Literally so much of my decor, the send-off sparklers, linens, arbor, my veil, so so much! It came from Facebook Marketplace. Also, look for Facebook groups of brides in your area. Most of these items are used only once, so there's always buying and selling going on, and for great prices.
6. A Note To Vendors, please don’t vent your last minute concerns to the bride. We've experienced quite a bit of this, and it's pretty unprofessional. Most of the time these concerns are sort of worst-case-scenario ponderings that really don't need to be voiced, as they rarely become problems of any kind.
So, if you're on the other side of this and are planning your wedding, don't freak out. If your vendor starts making worrying comments days before the wedding, simply restate the plan you've already laid out with them and know that those worries are rootless and that your day will be lovely.
There you go, friends! I hope you are encouraged and enlightened and excited about your bit day!
Ultimately, your wedding can be charming and beautiful and personal to you without having to follow all the rules (or break the bank). If you enjoyed our conversation or if you have anything you'd add to this list, feel free to leave a comment and let us know!
My Mom’s Little Joy: My mom and dad had a really nice "date day" a few weeks ago, which was sweet and a little uncommon for their routine. They went to a farmer's market that they'd never seen, had lunch oceanside, and spent the whole day together, just them two. It was so cute to hear that after 26 years of marriage they made a sweet little Saturday for themselves.
What We’re Listening To: A Wedding Remix: all the best songs that played at my wedding reception.
As I mentioned, next week there won't be a new episode as Josh and I are flying to Hawaii to celebrate our first anniversary.
But I'll be back in two weeks with a new episode, so enjoy your summer until then, friends. Aloha!